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Creative COVID Crisis

This one doing its rounds on Whatsapp. Kudos to the creator!

We all have to be careful because I read that people are facing mental health issues from being isolated for so long.

In fact, I have been discussing with the microwave and toaster during coffee break and we all agreed that things are getting bad.

I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he has been acting very cold and distant.

The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked for his opinion. He didn’t say anything but the doorknob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to pull myself together.

The vacuum was very unsympathetic and told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over.

In the end, the iron straightened me out. She said everything will be fine and no situation is too pressing!

Is Hell exothermic (release heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Believe  this is a response by a  student  which is shared via internet which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Question :  Is Hell exothermic (release heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. ….leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

Glowing candle – Banksia

 

A yellow candle,

Is a cylindrical Banksia.

 A Glowing cone against

The dark green leaves

Is native to Australia,

Pretending to be a single flower

Conspicuous to lure the bees and birds,

Why?

To prepare the next generation!

banksia-3

Photos were taken in front of Ngilgi caves in Southwest region of Western Australia

banksia-cone

Banksia cone appears to be a single flower but factually is a bunch of flowers

 

Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.

-William Arthur Ward-
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/candle.html

Migration of human race across the globe (Animated video)

An animated video by Business Insider  on Face book shows on how human race migrated across the globe.

Roger Federer In India

The Tennis Ace, Roger Federer has been on a virtual tour to India.

Check out the hilarious photo shopped images of him at famous  Indian Landmarks.

He  has even tried  Bollywood dancing !

Top of the list is  ROG- Leela!

 

Click here For Further images :

 

Senior trying to set a password

How can I go pass this e-mail-joke without sharing with you ?  🙂

 

Senior trying to set a password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

When Islam came to Australia

 An imnformative article from  BBC about the Aboriginal and Torres strait islander people of Australia.

The article covers the anthropoligical evidence on  how the first Australians interacted with the neighbouring islands of Indonesia million years ago before the Bristish set foot in the land.

 

Here it is…

 

When Islam came to Australia

BBC 24 June 2014 20:09

Few Australians are aware that the country’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples had regular contact with foreign Muslims long before the arrival of Christian colonisers. And Islam continues to exercise an appeal for some Aboriginal peoples today, writes Janak Rogers.

The white lines are faint but unmistakable. Small sailing boats, picked out in white and yellow pigment on the red rocks of the Wellington Range in Arnhem Land, northern Australia, tell a different story from the one most Australians accept as the history of their nation.

They are traditional Indonesian boats known as praus and they brought Muslim fishermen from the flourishing trading city of Makassar in search of trepang, or sea cucumbers. Exactly when the Makassans first arrived is uncertain. Some historians say it was in the 1750s, but radiocarbon dating of beeswax figures superimposed on the cave paintings suggests that it was much earlier – one of the figures appears to have been made before 1664, perhaps as early as the 1500s.

 

A cave painting of an Indonesian prau, found in Arnhem Land

A cave painting of an Indonesian prau, found in Arnhem Land

 

 

They apparently made annual trips to gather the sea cucumbers, which fetched a high price because of their important role in Chinese medicine and cuisine.

The Makasssans represent Australia’s first attempt at international relations, according to anthropologist John Bradley from Melbourne’s Monash University – and it was a success. “They traded together. It was fair – there was no racial judgement, no race policy,” he says.

Quite a contrast to the British. Britain designated the country terra nullius – land belonging to no-one – and therefore colonised the country without a treaty or any recognition of the rights of indigenous people to their land.

Some Makassan cucumber traders stayed, married Aboriginal women and left a lasting religious and cultural legacy in Australia. Alongside the cave paintings and other Aboriginal art, Islamic beliefs influenced Aboriginal mythology.

“If you go to north-east Arnhem Land there is [a trace of Islam] in song, it is there in painting, it is there in dance, it is there in funeral rituals,” says Bradley. “It is patently obvious that there are borrowed items. With linguistic analysis as well, you’re hearing hymns to Allah, or at least certain prayers to Allah.”

geogrphical

One example of this is a figure called Walitha’walitha, which is worshipped by a clan of the Yolngu people on Elcho Island, off the northern coast of Arnhem Land. The name derives from the Arabic phrase “Allah ta’ala“, meaning “God, the exalted”. Walitha’walitha is closely associated with funeral rituals, which can include other Islamic elements like facing west during prayers – roughly the direction of Mecca – and ritual prostration reminiscent of the Muslim sujood.

“I think it would be hugely oversimplifying to suggest that this figure is Allah as the ‘one true God’,” says Howard Morphy, an anthropologist at Australian National University. It’s more the case of the Yolngu people adopting an Allah-like figure into their cosmology, he suggests.

 

morning star

One elder has said that Aboriginal “morning star” poles were made to look like the masts of Indonesian praus, and that a pole would be presented to Makassan traders as a gift at the end of a farewell dance ritual each year

 

The Makassan sea cucumber trade with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples ended in 1906, killed off by heavy taxation and a government policy that restricted non-white commerce. More than a century later, the shared history between Aboriginal peoples and Makassans is still celebrated by Aboriginal communities in northern Australia as period of mutual trust and respect – in spite of some historical evidence that this wasn’t always the case.

The last Makassan fisherman

Using Daeng Rangka was the first Makassan captain to buy a licence from the British to catch sea cucumbers, and the last to visit Australia. In 1895, after his boat was wrecked, he made a 400 mile (644 km) trip in a canoe. As well as a large family in Makassar, Using had three children with an Aboriginal woman.

Using, sometimes called Husein, is still remembered in songs and dances in Arnhem Land. In 1988, a descendent of his recreated the trip from Indonesia to Australia in a traditional prau as part of the latter country’s bicentennial celebrations.

“I’m a historian and I know that the Makassans, when they came to Arnhem Land, they had cannons, they were armed, there were violent incidents,” says Regina Ganter at Griffith University in Brisbane. But many in the Yolngu community are wedded to a view of the sea cucumber trade as an alternative to colonialism, she says, and even consider the Makassans long-lost relatives. When she mentioned the Makassans’ cannons to one elder in the tribe, he dismissed it. “He really wanted to tell this story as a story of successful cultural contact, which is so different to people coming and taking your land and taking your women and establishing themselves as superior.”

This wasn’t the only contact between Muslims and Aboriginal peoples. In the late 19th and early 20th Centuries, the pearl-shelling industry brought so-called “Malays” from south-east Asia to work as indentured labourers in Broome on the north-west coast of Australia. Much like the Makassans, Malays intermarried with local Aboriginal people and brought with them Islamic religious and cultural practices. Today, plenty of families in Northern Australia have names that bear the mark of these interactions, like Doolah, Hassan and Khan.

Meanwhile, the forbidding deserts of central Australia gave rise to a separate Muslim influx.

In a quiet suburb of Alice Springs, a town of 26,000 people in the heart of central Australia, there sits an unlikely building: a mosque. Its minaret rises against the backdrop of the craggy rock and red dirt of the MacDonnell Ranges.

It is called the “Afghan Mosque”, and for a reason. Between 1860 and 1930 up to 4,000 cameleers came to Australia, bringing their camels with them. Many were indeed from Afghanistan, but they also came from India and present-day Pakistan.

They played a key role in opening up the deserts, providing supplies to remote mission stations, and helping to lay crucial national infrastructure like the Overland Telegraph Line and the Ghan Railway line, which still runs today, crossing the Australian desert from north to south. “Ghan” derives from “Afghan”, as the train’s logo of a cameleer makes plain.

“My grandfather’s father, he was a camel driver,” says 62-year-old Raymond Satour. “They had their own camels, over 40 camels,” he says. “On the camel train itself, that’s when they met the Aboriginal people that were camping out in the bush, and they got connected then – that’s how we are connected to Aboriginals.”

Far from their homes on the sub-continent, Afghan cameleers built makeshift mosques throughout central Australia, and many intermarried with Aboriginal peoples.

The work of the Afghan cameleers dried up in the 1930s, when motorised vehicles began to remove the need for the animals. Today, the Afghan Mosque in Alice is mostly filled with first-generation immigrants from India, Pakistan and Afghanistan. But worshippers from the mosque regularly visit the homes of some of the Afghan-Aboriginal descendants, including that of Raymond Satour. “The brothers come and hold prayer ceremonies and teachings,” he says. “We’re learning, and it’s helping us keep alive our connection to Islam and the old Afghans.”

These historical contacts have an echo in the present day, as a steadily growing number of Aboriginal people convert to Islam. According to Australia’s 2011 census, 1,140 people identify as Aboriginal Muslims. That’s still less than 1% of the country’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population – and it should be said that Aboriginals are also becoming born-again Christians – but it’s still almost double the number of Aboriginal Muslims recorded in the 2001 census.

Anthony Mundine, a former two-time WBA super middleweight champion and an IBO middleweight champion boxer, is perhaps the most high-profile Aboriginal Muslim convert. He takes inspiration from the American Black Power movement, especially from civil rights activist Malcolm X, a former leader of the Nation of Islam.

 

 

Muslim grave yard

The Muslim graveyard in Alice Springs

“Malcolm’s journey was unbelievable,” agrees Justin Agale, who is of mixed Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander descent and converted to Islam 15 years ago. “Here was a man who was interested in social justice and in furthering the cause of his people but he was also interested in his own spiritual journey to truth.”

Agale is one of a number of Aboriginal people who, fairly or unfairly, have come to associate Christianity with the racism of colonial Australia.

“One of the things that the colonialists were very successful in Australia in doing was teaching the indigenous people that God hated us, and that we were unwanted children, that we were being punished for being savages,” he says.

By contrast, he sees Islam as a “continuation” of his Aboriginal cultural beliefs. Agale’s ancestors in the Torres Strait, the Meriam people, observed something they called Malo’s Law, which he says was “in favour of oneness and harmony”, and he sees parallels in Islam. “Islam – especially the Sufi tradition – has clear ideas of fitra and of tawhid, that each individual’s nature is part of a greater whole, and that we should live in a balanced way within nature.”

This sense of the compatibility of Aboriginal and Islamic beliefs is not uncommon, says Peta Stephenson, a sociologist at Victoria University. Shared practices include male circumcision, arranged or promised marriages and polygamy, and similar cultural attitudes like respect for land and resources, and respecting one’s elders.

“Many Aboriginal people I spoke with explained these cultural synergies often by quoting the well-known phrase from the Koran that 124,000 prophets had been sent to the Earth,” says Stephenson. “They argued that some of these prophets must have visited Aboriginal communities and shared their knowledge.”

For some Aboriginal converts, however, the appeal of Islam is not one of continuity, but a fresh start. Mohammed – not his real name – was once homeless and an alcoholic, but he found the Islamic doctrines of regular prayer, self-respect, avoidance of alcohol, drugs and gambling all helped him battle his addictions. He has now been sober for six years and holds down a steady, professional job.

“When I found Islam it was the first time in my life that I felt like a human,” he says. “Prior to that I had divided up into ‘half this, quarter that’. You’re never a complete, whole thing.”

Mohammed rejects the criticism that has been levelled at him by some Aboriginal people that he turned his back on his traditional way of life. He believes Aboriginal culture was destroyed by colonialism.

“Where is my culture?” he asks. “That was cut off from me two generations ago. One of the attractive things about Islam for me was that I found something that was unbroken.

“Do you go for something that is going to take you out of the gutter and become a better husband and father and neighbour? Or do you search for something that you probably never had any hope of ever finding?”

 

AMA response to the Australian Budget ( Humour at the expense of the Treasurer)

The Australian Medical Association (AMA)  has weighed in on Treasure Joe Hockey’s proposed changes to Australia’s health services

The Allergists voted to scratch them, but the

Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the

Neurologists thought he had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt he was labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the ideas short-sighted.

 Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the

Paediatricians said, “Oh, Grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the ideas were madness, while the

Radiologists could see right through them.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of
the whole thing.

The ENT specialists didn’t swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it.

The Pharmacists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the

 Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter…”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the

 Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the ideas were a gas, but the

Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out,

leaving the entire decision up to the arse holes in parliament.

– Author Unknown-

 

 

 

My beautiful Earth! April 21 2014

Whats common with Rufous humming bird,

Veiled Chameleon,

Moon Jelly fish,

Japanese macaque,

Dung beetle and puffer fish?

On Google doodle, they are all wishing us a very happy Earth day !

 

 

 

Related Article :

#My beautiful earth

Happy Earth day! 

 

Should I join Facebook? (Friday Funnies XV)

Another gem caught my eye. Read it all the way through!

It is indeed a good laugh.

Here it is my friends………………………………………

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter, so my seven kids and their spouses, my 13 grand children and 2 great grand children could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured that I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

But then…
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not
ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

My children bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say that I get lost every now & then going over to the grocery store or library.
I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.

I wore it once and was standing in the line at the checkout counter, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,  “Re-calc-u-lating.”
You would think that she could be nicer. She could barely tolerate me. She would let go  a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship…

Nowadays I call my wife and tell her the name of  the cross streets where I am lost.  She is also starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once.  I have to run around and dig under cushions, checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think that the store  could settle on this sudden “Paper or Plastic?”.  Every time I check- out it just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those fabric  reusable-bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me. Now I toss it back to them when they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet.

I answered, No, but I do fart a lot.”

 

“Laughter is the best medicine”