It is with our deepest heartfelt sympathy announcing the death of our beloved friend and well known Mr 2016 .
He is survived by 12 wives,52 children and 365 grand children. *Funeral will take place on Saturday 31st December at 23 59 hrs*. For more information contact Mr January on phone number 01 01 2017.
However, his family members have requested to inform that he has died accidentally with *ALL your problems, sickness, disappointment, frustration, untimely death, shame, disgrace, barrenness, discouragement, failure, and rejection.*
Yet, his successor – Mr 2017 asked to inform you that he is going to compensate you with : *Long life, good health, abundant blessings, peace, joy, righteousness, promotion, uplifting & breakthrough.*
Please accept the obituary on behalf of 2016 family. 😣 😓 😧🍃
There were five houses of religion in a small town:
The Presbyterian Church,
The Baptist Church,
The Methodist Church,
The Catholic Church
and The Jewish Synagogue.
Each church and house of prayer was overrun with pesky squirrels.
The Presbyterians called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery which is a tank for administering baptism by immersion. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town.
Three days later…, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution.
They baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on their weddings, children’s baptism, Christmas and Easter.
The Jewish Synagogue reverted back to old tradition. They caught one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.