Archive | December 2016

FUNERAL ANNOUNCEMENT

  • Hello Everyone ,

It is with our deepest heartfelt sympathy announcing  the death of our beloved friend and well known Mr 2016 .

He is survived by 12 wives,52 children and 365 grand children. *Funeral will take place on Saturday 31st December at 23 59 hrs*. For more information contact Mr January on phone number 01 01 2017.

However, his family members  have requested to inform  that he  has died accidentally with *ALL your problems, sickness, disappointment, frustration, untimely death, shame, disgrace, barrenness, discouragement, failure, and rejection.*

Yet, his successor – Mr 2017 asked  to inform you that he is going to compensate you with : *Long life, good health, abundant blessings, peace, joy, righteousness, promotion, uplifting & breakthrough.*
Please accept the obituary on behalf of 2016 family. 😣 😓 😧🍃

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The Squirrels

There were five houses of religion in a small town:

The Presbyterian Church,

The Baptist Church,

The Methodist Church,

The Catholic Church

and The Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and house of prayer was overrun with pesky squirrels.
The Presbyterians called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery which is a tank for administering baptism by immersion. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation.  So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town.

Three days later…,   the squirrels were back.

The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution.

They baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on their weddings, children’s baptism, Christmas and Easter.

The Jewish Synagogue reverted back to old tradition. They caught one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.

 

PS:

The above joke is via an e-mail

Glowing candle – Banksia

 

A yellow candle,

Is a cylindrical Banksia.

 A Glowing cone against

The dark green leaves

Is native to Australia,

Pretending to be a single flower

Conspicuous to lure the bees and birds,

Why?

To prepare the next generation!

banksia-3

Photos were taken in front of Ngilgi caves in Southwest region of Western Australia

banksia-cone

Banksia cone appears to be a single flower but factually is a bunch of flowers

 

Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.

-William Arthur Ward-
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/candle.html

I was impressed…..

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing.

He replied that he is working on,

“Aqua-thermal  treatment of ceramics, Aluminum and steel under a constrained environment”.

I was impressed……

On further inquiring I  have learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water…..under his wife’s supervision.

I was astounded by his creativity  and the command of language!!!

Bravo

(from one of the e-mail rounds)

“A flower blossoms for its own joy” – Oscar Wilde

Blooming Jacaranda

 Botanists refer as Jacaranda Mimosifolia

A tree, native to Central America

Spread its roots near and far,

 And line the streets everywhere.

jacaranda-1

When summer comes

Jacaranda blooms to hide her leaves

With magnificent purple panicles

Showing off her wealth to the world,

That I am here….

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