Cliche!

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We remember them in a thousands ways

Many we love taken away too soon,
We remember them in a thousands ways..
In the morning, evening or on a starry night’
On a stranger, a song, place , book or nook
But we remember them in a thousands ways.

Givers & Takers

There are  two kinds of people  in the world,

Givers and takers.

Takers will eat better

but the givers will sleep better!

(Read this week – author not known)

Is Hell exothermic (release heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Believe  this is a response by a  student  which is shared via internet which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Question :  Is Hell exothermic (release heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. ….leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

END IS NEAR (Friday funnies)

Hello

After a long silence I am back on my blog. Hope you all had a great year so far.  Below is a joke arrived in my in box. Thought I will share with you . Have a great weekend.

Saba

12.04.2018

 

END IS NEAR

Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish on the border of Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland, and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.

One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says,


“THE END IS NEAR. TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW,
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.”

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells,

“Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don’t need your lectures.”

From around the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.
Shaking his head, Father Patrick says “Dat’s da terd one dis mornin’.”


“Yaa,” Sean agrees, then adds, “Do ya tink maybe da sign should just say “BRIDGE CLOSED”?

 

 

(creator unknown)

DOGGIE  FOR A WALK

 

 A little girl asked her mother, “Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”

 Mum replies, “No, because she is on heat. “

 “What’s that mean?” asked the child.

 “Go ask your father, I think he’s in the garage.”

 The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on heat, and to come to you.”

 Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.”

 He took a rag, soaked it with petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, that should take care of that problem.

You can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”

 The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later but with no dog on the leash.

 Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”

 The little girl said, “She ran out of petrol about halfway around the block, so another dog is pushing her home. “

 

(An email humour – Author Unknown)