Should I join Facebook? (Friday Funnies XV)

Another gem caught my eye. Read it all the way through!

It is indeed a good laugh.

Here it is my friends………………………………………

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter, so my seven kids and their spouses, my 13 grand children and 2 great grand children could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured that I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

But then…
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not
ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

My children bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say that I get lost every now & then going over to the grocery store or library.
I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.

I wore it once and was standing in the line at the checkout counter, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,  “Re-calc-u-lating.”
You would think that she could be nicer. She could barely tolerate me. She would let go  a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship…

Nowadays I call my wife and tell her the name of  the cross streets where I am lost.  She is also starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once.  I have to run around and dig under cushions, checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think that the store  could settle on this sudden “Paper or Plastic?”.  Every time I check- out it just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those fabric  reusable-bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me. Now I toss it back to them when they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet.

I answered, No, but I do fart a lot.”

 

“Laughter is the best medicine”

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