Tag Archive | St. Peter

Ceiling fans ( A Tuesday funny)

I just couldn’t resist sharing this  joke during  US polling day :

A man died and went to Heaven.

As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks
behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks for?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been
on earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.”

“Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter. “The hands have never
moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible”, said the man.

“And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire
life.”

“Where’s Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton’s clocks?” asked the man.

St. Peter replied, “We’re using them as ceiling fans.”

branco-trump-and-hillary

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Who? (Friday Funnies)

St. Peter was on extended leave so a minor saint was left in charge of the Pearly gates.

The Saint was  ordered to get proof of identity before letting anyone into heaven.

First up was Beethoven.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So Beethoven played a few bars of his Fifth Symphony and he was admitted.

Next up was Albert Einstein.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So  Einstein explained the  theory of relativity and he was admitted.

Next up was George Bush

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

” But I am George Bush, former President of the United States of America.”

“Sorry, everyone needs proof. Even Beethoven and Einstein needed proof.”

“Who?”

“OK,  you can go through”

 

(Modified from  “The Mammoth Book of Jokes )