Tag Archive | Jokes

I was impressed…..

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing.

He replied that he is working on,

“Aqua-thermal  treatment of ceramics, Aluminum and steel under a constrained environment”.

I was impressed……

On further inquiring I  have learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water…..under his wife’s supervision.

I was astounded by his creativity  and the command of language!!!

Bravo

(from one of the e-mail rounds)

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Being a pauper (Friday Funnies)

“Today I had my first family planning lesson at school”

announced seven year old Sarah.

Her mother, very curious asked ” oh..How did it go?”

“I nearly died of shame” complained Sarah.

“Peter from next door says  the stork brings babies.”

photo credit: clip art.com

Photo credit: clip art.com

“Mary  my friend said that you can buy babies at the Orphanage”

“John in my class says that you can buy babies at the hospital”

“Mathew,  a doctor’s son said that his father says that you can make babies in a test-tube”

Her mother answered laughingly ” But that’s no reason to be ashamed”.

“No…but I cannot tell them that we were so poor that you and dad has to make me yourselves!”

(modified from an e-mail joke)

Who? (Friday Funnies)

St. Peter was on extended leave so a minor saint was left in charge of the Pearly gates.

The Saint was  ordered to get proof of identity before letting anyone into heaven.

First up was Beethoven.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So Beethoven played a few bars of his Fifth Symphony and he was admitted.

Next up was Albert Einstein.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So  Einstein explained the  theory of relativity and he was admitted.

Next up was George Bush

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

” But I am George Bush, former President of the United States of America.”

“Sorry, everyone needs proof. Even Beethoven and Einstein needed proof.”

“Who?”

“OK,  you can go through”

 

(Modified from  “The Mammoth Book of Jokes )

Vending machine and Coke (Friday Funnies XXI)

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court ; but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:

“Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?”

(an e-mail joke)

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!

BLONDE JOKE (Friday Funnies XVII)

Soccer World cup is around the corner.

FIFA World Cup 2014 will be held in Brazil during June 12th– 13th July and the jokes on Soccer are coming out of the wood work!

 

Here is one in the name of BLONDE JOKE

 

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for the teenagers.  During a session, she notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other teenagers are running around kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

‘You ok?’ she says.

‘Yes.’ he says.

‘You can go and play with the other kids you know’ she says.

‘It’s best I stay here.’ he says.

‘Why’s that sweetie?’ says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says:-

“Because I’m the goal keeper !!!”

 

(Appreciate the unknown owner of the joke)

A Senior Moment!

A Senior Moment!

A Senior Moment!

 

The Hare and the Tortoise (Friday Funnies #X)

The Hare and  the Tortoise  (Friday Funnies #X)

He has done it again!