Tag Archive | humor

END IS NEAR (Friday funnies)

Hello

After a long silence I am back on my blog. Hope you all had a great year so far.  Below is a joke arrived in my in box. Thought I will share with you . Have a great weekend.

Saba

12.04.2018

 

END IS NEAR

Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish on the border of Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland, and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.

One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says,


“THE END IS NEAR. TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW,
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.”

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells,

“Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don’t need your lectures.”

From around the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.
Shaking his head, Father Patrick says “Dat’s da terd one dis mornin’.”


“Yaa,” Sean agrees, then adds, “Do ya tink maybe da sign should just say “BRIDGE CLOSED”?

 

 

(creator unknown)

God Save Australia (Friday Funnies XVIII)

Currently the government in Australia is not that popular among the public after coming to power under a year ago. The government’s proposed budget-cuts are not at all accepted by the mainstream Australians.

The joke on Tony Abbot  below is circulating among the e-mail users.

Here it is  my friends…  Another Friday Special…..

 

Tony Abbott the Prime Minister of Australia asks the Queen of the United Kingdom,

“Your Majesty,how do you run such an efficient government?

Are there any tips you can give me?”

“Well,” said the Queen,

“The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Abbott then asked,

“But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of champagne.

“Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch”

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.

“Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?”

Prince Charles walked into the room and said,

“Yes, Mummy?”

The Queen smiled and said,

“Answer me this please Charlie.

Your mother and father have a child.

It is not your brother and it is not your sister.

Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered

“That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good.” said the Queen.

Tony Abbott went back home to Australia.

He decided to ask Joe Hockey his Treasurer the same question.

“Joe, answer this for me will you.”

“Your mother and your father have a child.

It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.

Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” said Hockey.

“Let me get back to you on that one.”

He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Frustrated, Hockey went to the toilet, and found Clive Palmer the billionaire and an independent Parliamentarian there.

Joe Hockey went up to him and asked,

 

“Hey Clive, see if you can answer this question.”

“Shoot Joe.”

Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister.  Who is it?”

Clive Palmer answered,

“That’s easy, it’s me!”

Joe Hockey grinned, and said,

 

“Good answer Clive, I see it all now!”

Joe Hockey then, went back to find the Prime Minister Abbot.

“Tony, I did some research,and I have the answer to that riddle.”

“It’s Clive Palmer”

Tony Abbott got up, stomped over to Joe Hockey and angrily yelled into his face,

“No! You bloody idiot! It’s Prince Charles!”

. . . AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHAT’S GOING ON IN CANBERRA  THE CAPITAL OF AUSTRALIA

BLONDE JOKE (Friday Funnies XVII)

Soccer World cup is around the corner.

FIFA World Cup 2014 will be held in Brazil during June 12th– 13th July and the jokes on Soccer are coming out of the wood work!

 

Here is one in the name of BLONDE JOKE

 

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for the teenagers.  During a session, she notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other teenagers are running around kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

‘You ok?’ she says.

‘Yes.’ he says.

‘You can go and play with the other kids you know’ she says.

‘It’s best I stay here.’ he says.

‘Why’s that sweetie?’ says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says:-

“Because I’m the goal keeper !!!”

 

(Appreciate the unknown owner of the joke)

Type writer – Friday Funnies (X)

 

How can I pass this video without sharing it?  Brilliant !!!

Enjoy the video  as I did.