Didn’t I tell you? (late Friday Funnies)

This is a story of a happily married couple for many years.

The only problem in their marriage was the husband’s habit of ritual flatulence.

Every morning when he awoke, the “noisy whirlwind of his bowels” wake his wife and the stench would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She asked him to see a doctor: she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blare them out.

Then one Christmas morning, as the wife was preparing the turkey and the husband was upstairs sound asleep.

she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl of internal parts of the turkey and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep.

She gently pulled the bed covers back and quietly pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

An hour later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked about the commotion upstairs.

He said, Honey you were right all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.

What do you mean? She asked.

Well, you always told me that one day I would end up blazing my guts out and today it finally happened, but by the grace of God, and some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in………

 

(An  e-mail joke – Laughter is the best medicine)

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