She had the guts! (Friday Funnies)

An airline flight was cancelled at a busy airport and a single ticketing agent was re-booking a long queue of inconvenienced travellers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.

He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first; and then I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The  demanding passenger was unimpressed.

He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

“May I have your attention, please?” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

“We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.
If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14.”

 

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, “F*** You!”

 

Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that, too.”

 

(circulated via e- mail)

Didn’t I tell you? (late Friday Funnies)

This is a story of a happily married couple for many years.

The only problem in their marriage was the husband’s habit of ritual flatulence.

Every morning when he awoke, the “noisy whirlwind of his bowels” wake his wife and the stench would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She asked him to see a doctor: she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blare them out.

Then one Christmas morning, as the wife was preparing the turkey and the husband was upstairs sound asleep.

she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl of internal parts of the turkey and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep.

She gently pulled the bed covers back and quietly pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

An hour later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked about the commotion upstairs.

He said, Honey you were right all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.

What do you mean? She asked.

Well, you always told me that one day I would end up blazing my guts out and today it finally happened, but by the grace of God, and some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in………

 

(An  e-mail joke – Laughter is the best medicine)

A Birthday

Originally posted on VintageSareeBlouse:

WP

My grandmother died not too long back, she would have been 88 today.  The studio pic is of her as a wee thing in about 1930-she was the eldest child so this must have been a special trip. She looks pretty good all decked up in a pavadai, loose “chattai” and bits and bobs. I like that ribbon touch the best but that’s just me, I love ribbons.

Later in life – and I don’t have a picture handy –  she was a slim 5’6’ who always wore a nine yard sari even as her peers abandoned it. She also  retained her two nose studs. Her abundant hair was always oiled and plaited, her person always neat and elegant. She was a calm and methodical worker, not the kind who cooked up a feast but the kind who would make two faultless dishes. Like many Tamil women of her age…

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Remembrance Day – Eleventh Hour of the 11th day of the 11th Month.

Saba-Thambi:

11th day of the 11th month – my old article
#Remembranceday #11th of November

Originally posted on SABAS LOG:

Artificial Red poppies are sold globally to mark the Remembrance day this week. Below  is an article  which I   have written 2 years ago for the Tamil Week. 

Remembrance Day (11.11.11) – Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields

10 November 2011, 1:48 pm

By Saba-Thambi

Ever since I bought the red artificial poppy in Colombo in the nineteen eighties, I have been fascinated by the symbolism behind the artificial flower. Red poppies are sold in memory of the fallen soldiers of the World Wars I & II.

Silk Poppy – Australia-Pic: Alfiet

Generally the day is referred to as the Remembrance Day, and a minute of silence is observed on the 11th minute of the 11th hour of the 11th month of each year.

The symbolism originated with the British Empire and became a practice with other countries in later years. The proceeds…

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Kamal Hassan and his tryst with classical dance

Saba-Thambi:

Another article on Kamal Hasan – this time touching on classical Dance

Originally posted on Bharathanatyam and the worldwide web:

Starting sometime in August Baradwaj Rangan started a eight part series based on his interview with Kamal Hassan, and his involvement with the classical arts. The series was published in The Hindu. There are some poignant moments about dance that captured my eye. Sharing some of them here with emphasis added. Scroll down to see the links

The story of Kamal Haasan as a dancer begins when Kamal was twelve, a time his mother thought that he would be thrown out of school, the third one he was admitted in. One evening, she took him to a Kuchipudi recital in Museum Theatre. The boy, who’d grown up with Bharatanatyam, was fascinated. Kamal Haasan told me, “I think it was the exotic form of somebody dancing on a plate.” After the performance, while waiting for the bus at the stop on Pantheon Road, Kamal’s…

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கீறல்கள்- கமல் ஹாசன் (Two sketches of Kamal)

Saba-Thambi:

An article written in Tamil on the 60th Birthday of Kamal Hasan.
The sketches were drawn by me 40 years ago.

Originally posted on இறகுகள் பலவிதம்:

கமலுக்கு வயது60!

நம்பவே முடியவில்லை.

இப்போது நினைத்தாலும் சிரிப்பும் வருகிறது.

அந்தக் காலத்தில் கமல ஹாசன் மீது இருந்த டீன் ஏஜ் கிரேஸ்.

யாழ்ப்பாணத்தில், கடந்த நூற்றாண்டின் எழுபதுகளின் மத்தியில் இருக்கும். கொஞ்சம் தமிழர்களின் நிம்மதியான காலம்.

எப்போதுமே MGR, சிவாஜி முகங்களை திரையில் பார்க்கும் அலுப்பு.

அதுவும் வயதில் முதிர்ந்தவர்கள் இளவயது நடிகைகளுடன் நெருங்கி நடிக்கும் காலகட்டம்.

Dull!

அங்காங்கே பொங்கலுக்கு பயற்றம் பருப்பை சேர்த்தால் போல் முத்துராமன், ஜெய்சங்கர் படங்கள்.

இதே நேரத்தில் ரசிகர்களிடையேயும் மாற்றம். நடிகர்களுக்காக படம் பார்க்காமல் இயகுநர்களுக்காக படம் ஓடத்தொடங்கிய நாட்கள். இதில் முதலிடம் பெற்றவர்கள் ஸ்ரீதர், கே. பாலசந்தர் போன்றோர்.

இந் நேரத்தில் தமிழ் திரையுலகில் ஓர் புதுமுகம்.

மிகவும் இளையவர்.

சிறு வேடங்களில் பலபடங்களில் தலை காட்டியவர்.

இளவயது பெண் ரசிகர்களுக்கிடயே பிரபலமாகிக் கொண்டிருந்தவர்.

யாழ்ப்பாணத்தில் முதல் முதலாக எனக்கு பார்க்க கிடைத்த அவருடைய படம்: அவள்-ஒரு-தொடர்கதை.

விகடகவியாக காந்திக் கண்ணாடியுடன் நடித்த பாத்திரம்.

இப்படம் 75 – 76 களில் யாழ்-டவுன் பஸ் தரிப்பு நிலையத்திற்கு பக்கக்தில் உள்ள ராணி தியேட்டரில் ஓடிய நினைவு.

தியேட்டருக்கு முன் நடிகை சுஜாதாவின் மிகவும் பிரமாண்டமான கட்-அவுட் (wooden cut-out) அலங்காரம்.

சனிக்கிழமை மட்னீ ஷோ (matinee show) – சாம் மாஸ்டரின் கெமிஸ்ரி டியூஷன் கிளாஸ் முடித்து, (Sam Master’s Chemistry tuition class) சொந்தங்களுடன் சுண்டிக்குளியில் இருந்து பஸ் பிடித்து போய்…

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Who? (Friday Funnies)

St. Peter was on extended leave so a minor saint was left in charge of the Pearly gates.

The Saint was  ordered to get proof of identity before letting anyone into heaven.

First up was Beethoven.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So Beethoven played a few bars of his Fifth Symphony and he was admitted.

Next up was Albert Einstein.

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

So  Einstein explained the  theory of relativity and he was admitted.

Next up was George Bush

“I need proof of identity” said the saint.

” But I am George Bush, former President of the United States of America.”

“Sorry, everyone needs proof. Even Beethoven and Einstein needed proof.”

“Who?”

“OK,  you can go through”

 

(Modified from  “The Mammoth Book of Jokes )